I was walking with my twin cousins in the mall earlier when I saw a familiar face. My heart started to beat so fast and it feels like I couldn’t make another step. i know that face! ..the eyes, the smile, the goatee, the walk ..i know that! I KNOW HIM!
2 years ago, he was mine. 2 years ago was the greatest days of my life. 2 years ago we were the “in” couple. Girls would hit on him infront of me but he ignores them and would do sweet things to me to piss the girls off. Guys would do the same to me but my eyes were totally fixed on him. I was just totally into him. We were the “ignore them coz I have you” couple. Sadly, we have to part ways. His hugs and kisses, his company, our moments, I’ll never ever forget.
We all have our ideal guy. People would always say that such ideal guy doesn’t exist. I was able to prove them wrong. My ideal guy exists. And that was HIM...
That was 2 years ago and I thought I’ll be just fine if ever we’ll see each other. But if you could only see me earlier, i look so stupid! i just blurted out his name and he stopped and just stared at me. I just smiled and he did, too. I almost fainted. ..it took us a couple of seconds to say hi. I know he was surprised to see me coz what he said doesn’t make sense. He asked me where I was studying though he already knows it and he just kept on saying my name. and he just kept on smiling and didn’t let go of my hand.
I’ve waited for so long to see him again, and when I did, I made a complete fool of myself. I acted like I was in a rush and just stared at him the whole time. I don’t even think I said anything to him except for the name of my school and bye. I was dumbfounded. I just grabbed my cousin and walked to the opposite direction as fast as I could.
Past is past, I know. but if seeing him made me that way, how much more if I’ll see the guy who I was with a year ago? The guy I cried over, the guy who I’ve tried to forget that took me more than a year. I won’t say im over him coz I really don’t know. thinking bout it still brings tears to my eyes.
i should leave the past behind but HOW? Everytime, someone comes into my life, the past just pops in my head. The what-if’s just won’t leave my mind. So im left with a lot of issues. Trust, to be more specific.
I can’t wait for the time when im all ready to dive in all over again. Can’t wait for the time where I could just trust wholeheartedly and won’t worry and get scared and chicken out and leave a phrase instead of a sentence.
Anyway, guess I just have to take things really slow and try not to get really attached to someone…
PS: both of them are drummers. Lucky drummerboi is one of the best in their place and his band had performed as open acts for a lot of famous bands here in the Philippines. The other one, is my mentor in drums.
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