I AM A PROUD "NANING"

In my almost 7 years in college, this summer is the only time I’ve ever been to the library every single day! This is the only time you would see my name scribbled on the library’s logbook. This is the only time I’ve borrowed books and actually read them and used them for my papers. This is the only time I’ve rushed to the library right after class just to make sure I get the best book first. This is the only time I really cared to use the APA format for my citation and references. This is the only time I’ve really scanned 1 bookshelf over and over again just to make sure I didn’t miss the book I needed.

And I actually love it! Nerd much? I don’t know. Maybe? And I don’t care. In school, people call it “being naning” or just “naning”. It’s actually, “naningkamot” which means, being determined. There’s really nothing wrong about it but in school, when you hear people saying or calling you that, you would also see them laughing or sneering at you. It’s positive to be that but peel of the outer layer and it’s negative. People just don’t want to admit it. But that’s exactly how it feels. Like you’re being ridiculed and like you’re stupid for being smart to ace every exam and get the approvals of the teachers.

Yes! I’ve been called “naning” a lot of times just because I passed my homework in time or for having 5 pages for my journal entry or for being ready for a presentation. I’ve been called “naning” just because I was early in school or because, I actually bought a book to help me with the course I’m taking. I hated it! I don’t want to be called a “naning” because I’m not. I skip class, I get low scores in quizzes, I pass some projects late, I’m sometimes late for 30mins in a 1-hour class, I don’t follow rules, I stay in the library to chat with my friends and even sleep! But people in school would still insist. They say I’m always on the go, like throw everything to me, I’ll do it. Give me anything and I’m still going to impress you with the result even if I don’t have 24hours to get ready.

And it’s just now that I realized that they’re right. No matter how I defy the teacher or how they teach the lesson or throw us hard projects and give us lil time to finish it, I’m still going to do it and just give my best shot. I am “naning”. A nerd. A dork. A geek without glasses and suspenders. I’m a “naning” and I’m helping change its image in school. I’m a “naning” in tank top, skinny jeans, gladiator sandals, a big sunglasses and a big bag. I’m a “naning” who brings Glamour magazine in school, lets her hair down, texts in the middle of the class, is on facebook everynight and tweets a lot.

So to all“nanings” out there, let’s show them what we got and let them realize that being “naning” is the new COOL!



in the middle during a SPEDers activity





quiz bee during COEDSO days with Jeph and Joy






cramming on a Math homework





my groups booth (focused on Hearing Impaired) during COEDSO days 2009. i was one of the coordinator :)

day gone bad

I called you to check how you’re doing and because im missing you. I don’t think that was a good idea. I tried cheering you up but I wasn’t successful. You were so quiet and I feel so bad for not knowing what to say, for not knowing how to comfort you. I just hope you were tired and sleepy and that you just need some rest. But what if that’s not the case?

The last minute of that phone call I started to get teary eyed. I whispered I love you and you did too and you said bye. Then the phone died… you told me you’re going to text when you’re back in Orlando. And that’s like 3 hours away. And Sam is still sleeping. I texted you but it’s been 30mins and I still haven’t gotten any reply. Why do I feel like you just left me?

I hate myself for being a worry wart. I hate myself for not being there with you. I hate myself for loving you like this. I hate myself for feeling this way. I hate myself for being such a cry baby. I hate myself for being so sensitive. I hate myself because I can’t do anything. I hate myself for still being in school. I hate myself for not having a job. I hate myself for not being able to go there. I hate myself for being selfish. I hate myself for loving you so much. I hate myself for being a brat. I hate myself for wanting you. I hate myself for needing you. I hate myself so much right now!

I wish im a better person. Someone you really deserve. But it’s so hard.. I don’t know what else to do. I hope you’re not getting tired of me. And I hope that me, loving you is enough.

he's with me

Was with the crazy bitch this afternoon. Deisa. Yea, she got that name when she started calling me the cheating whore. We’re not really that. it’s just something we call each other since Rachel appeared on One Tree Hill. Don’t blame the show though. It’s a long story.

Anyway, she kidnapped me here at the apartment just when I was feeling so good about cleaning the apartment and doing everyone’s laundry. But she was so insistent that I go to her place and be her photographer for the clothes she’s going to sell on-line. So being a good friend, I went with her.

I missed those days where we just take photos of each other out of boredom. I miss taking her pictures! She’s just so game and it’s fun when you are taking someone’s pictures who’s enjoying every moment of it. Even though im just taking pictures of the clothes she’s wearing (meaning, her face isn’t included) she still gamely poses for the cam. I ended modeling some of the clothes by the way since she insisted that the color of the dress looks better than me. and that all it did to her is make her skin look darker. (what’s wrong with being dark, anyway?)

After uploading the photos to her “shops” facebook account we started munching on our beef and mushroom pizza while sharing stories nonstop. she was sharing how her bf changed the way he treats her ever since she told him about what’s bothering her and she’s happy now. More happy! And I realized im so blessed because Arthur is just everything any girl would want and I have him. He’s mine. My girl friends have “problems” with how their bf’s show or NOT show their emotions. I don’t have that. he gives me that. they have a problem of how their bf’s give them time and how sometimes they feel unappreciated. Even if Arthur is in Florida and im here, time was never an issue to us. I mean, we always try to make each other feel that we’re just here, a text, a call or a buzz away. We always make a way that the other person will feel appreciated even with just simple things.

Arthur is not just a boyfriend to me. he is my bestfriend now, too. He is my mentor, my confidante, my cornerstone, my backbone. Everything! Every morning that I wake up, I couldn’t be any happier to know that ARTHUR ANTONIO is sharing his life with me.

Heaven's Grocery Store

*** this was made by someone on facebook. i forgot her name actually. sorry.


Heaven's Grocery Store

I was walking down life's highway a long time ago. 
One day I saw a sign that read "Heaven's Grocery Store". 
As I got a little closer, the door came open wide.
When I came to myself, I was standing just inside.
I saw a host of angels. They were standing everywhere. 
One handed me a basket and said, "My child, please shop with care".
Everything a Christian needed was in that Grocery Store.
All you couldn't carry, you could come back the next day for.
First, I got some PATIENCE; LOVE was in the very same row.
Further down was UNDERSTANDING, you needed it wherever you go.
I got a box or two of WISDOM, a bag or two of FAITH.
I just couldn't miss the HOLY SPIRIT, for He was all over the place!!
I stopped to get some STRENGTH and COURAGE to help me run this race.
By then my basket was getting full but...I remembered I needed some GRACE!
I didn't forget SALVATION, for SALVATION was free.
So I tried to get enough of that to save both you and me.
Then I started up to the counter to pay my grocery bill,
for I thought I had everything to do my Master's will.
As I wind up the aisle I saw PRAYER and I just had to put that in.
For I knew when I stepped outside, I would run right into sin.
PEACE and JOY were plentiful; they were on the last shelf.
SONGS and PRAISES were hanging near, so I just helped myself.
Then I said to the angel, "How much do I owe?"
He just smiled and said, "Just take them everywhere you go."
Again I smiled at him and said, "How much do I owe?"
He smiled again and said......
"My child, JESUS PAID YOUR BILL A LONG TIME AGO!"

some wave

*** made this a couple of days ago. i forgot to post it.

You know how you try to tell everything to someone but ended up not telling a thing? im back to being my complicated self again. and this time, im making that one person I love so much, sad with the way I am. This is me and I hope he won’t get tired of dealing with this version of myself because from what I know, she appears from time to time. She drove away some of the people I cared so much. And this is scary. I just want him to stay but I feel like he’s getting tired. Im trying to be the person he deserves and I know I still have a long way to go. Im still learning and im trying to do it fast.

I’ve been trying to fake it because im too stubborn and weak. Acknowledging the fact that im missing him sooo much makes me crazy! Im tired of crying and everytime I think about him, I ended up crying myself to sleep. Im going to see him soon. Its just that there are times when you just want to curl in bed and get a hug, when you turn around, he’s not there. Times when a lot of people are smiling at you and his smile is all you want to see but is nowhere to be found. Times when you’re scared and you reach out but his hands are not there, you look behind and he’s too far to catch you. Im being stubborn because I don’t want to breakdown. Im avoiding it because I don’t think he’ll even be here the next day and what’s gonna happen of me? Im just trying to save myself.

We’re worried at the same things. its crazy! We’re crazy! This is crazy! I know this is just one of the waves. It’ll calm soon. I can swim it and for sure in time im back in the shore

Tomorrow’s another day.. with him. And im blessed like that.