i don't know what's up with me yesterday. a simple message got me all crazy! i was high than ever. i like a lot of guys. i have to admit that. but this one, this very particular one is totally different from everyone. *sigh* just thinking about him makes my mind go ballistic! argh! i've always liked this guy but i didn't dare dream to be his girl. it's just too impossible. but things have changed. suddenly, it's all within reach. he's paying more attention to me.
im a fool. i know that, too.. but this feeling i can't deny. this feeling i can't just ignore. this is way too strong. i have better things to attend to but his face, his words, his smile, everything just keeps clouding my mind.. my heart beats everytime i read his messages. my world spins 2x faster whenever i see his name.
as much as he makes my world go upside down, he also keeps it still.
i've posted a lot of love stuff before. a lot of boy crazy issues which i'd rather put into trash. but i need those to remind me that i can't be that person again, that i can't be with those kind of guys again. im too young to waste my life on this. but no one is too young to feel something like this.
he keeps me sanely insane. he makes me float with his words. he makes me smile 24/7 because he believes in me. he makes me want to be really nice to everyone. he's bringing out the girl in me i didn't know exist..
is this gonna last? things weren't rushed. i want to believe that it will. it cannot go into waste. i won't allow it.
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Butterflies - John West
u might be wondering why... idk. it's just that LOVE's IN THE AIR!!! :) *oh God, please don't take this away*
You give me butterfly
You make it feel so nice
Give me natural highs
That’s what you’ve done
Little butterflies
Sometimes I realize
You got my children’s eyes
That’s what you’ve done
And I want to be with you now
And I will tell you why
When I look at you boy(girl), you know you give me butterflies
Boy (Girl) that’s what you’ve done...
You give me butterfly
You make it feel so nice
Give me natural highs
That’s what you’ve done
Little butterflies
Sometimes I realize
You got my children’s eyes
That’s what you’ve done
And I want to be with you now
And I will tell you why
When I look at you boy(girl), you know you give me butterflies
Boy (Girl) that’s what you’ve done...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
ready to fall..
..and it's because you've noticed. and its because i waited. giving up is far from my vocabulary. u taught me. no expectations, i say. but the hints are just so clear that i wish it's already December. or am i just assuming? tell me im right. say that u waited too. that u waited for this. that u were just scared. it's ok. what matters is now. the present.
you're hard to reach, too far, too high. but it was because im blinded by your actions and words. coz later on u proved to me that you're just right here. waiting for me to turn to u. waiting for me to stop reaching in front coz you're just by my side. why do u have to play with words? why do u have to sing me a song? why do u have to draw and take pictures? why can't u just tell it to me straight? it's not that hard, right?
if this is all a dream, don't wake me up. but, if it's the same in reality, then wake me up. for i'd rather open my eyes and see u smile at me, while holding my hand than dream that you're hugging me while whispering to my ear that u don't want to let me go and continue living in a fake world.
High School friends are love! :)
we're not close when we were in high school. Ali and I know each other since elementary but we hardly talk.
Cebu brought us together! Glady was the first one here since after HS she transferred right away. i followed 3 years ago to continue my studies at the same university Glady went to. then came Ali and Abdul. they're both working in a call center..
first time the 4 of us were together..
had a late lunch at Sunburst then we watched a fashion show where Glady's bf, Alfonse was one of the models...
2nd time was just a couple of weeks ago...
we don't have plans but next thing i know they're all in my apartment. so 11pm we decided to just hit Kukuk's Nest to chill.. small but a really nice place to catch up with friends... even had a conversation and funny moments with Budoy (PBB Celebrity Edition & vox of Cebu-based Reggae band, Junior Kilat)...went to grab a super early breakfast at McDonalds after..
we can't wait for S3! she's to have a mini vacay next month...
Cebu brought us together! Glady was the first one here since after HS she transferred right away. i followed 3 years ago to continue my studies at the same university Glady went to. then came Ali and Abdul. they're both working in a call center..
first time the 4 of us were together..
had a late lunch at Sunburst then we watched a fashion show where Glady's bf, Alfonse was one of the models...
2nd time was just a couple of weeks ago...
we don't have plans but next thing i know they're all in my apartment. so 11pm we decided to just hit Kukuk's Nest to chill.. small but a really nice place to catch up with friends... even had a conversation and funny moments with Budoy (PBB Celebrity Edition & vox of Cebu-based Reggae band, Junior Kilat)...went to grab a super early breakfast at McDonalds after..
we can't wait for S3! she's to have a mini vacay next month...
register & be heard!
i have no plans of voting for next year's election. it's not that i don't give a damn about my country. i actually do. it's just that, i can't see any reason for me to register if the person i want isn't even running.
next month is the last month of registration. and just last night, i decided that on wednesday, with 2 of my friends, we'll go to COMELEC & have ourselves registered.
why the sudden change of plans? a couple of nights ago, there was a news that Chiz Escudero has a big chance of winning the presidential election. and even before the news, i've always wanted him to be our next president.so, that's one. second, Noynoy Aquino. it's still not confirmed if it's he or Sen. Mar Roxas would be the candidate for the Liberal Party. but if not, still he has my vote for the senatorial spot. third, Liza Maza is running for senator.
i don't like politics. but i realized that my vote matters. i am a supporter. and its time for me to make another step. all talk and no work means nothing.
so, if you still haven't registered, what are u waiting for? another downfall for our country? another revolution? act now! :)
next month is the last month of registration. and just last night, i decided that on wednesday, with 2 of my friends, we'll go to COMELEC & have ourselves registered.
why the sudden change of plans? a couple of nights ago, there was a news that Chiz Escudero has a big chance of winning the presidential election. and even before the news, i've always wanted him to be our next president.so, that's one. second, Noynoy Aquino. it's still not confirmed if it's he or Sen. Mar Roxas would be the candidate for the Liberal Party. but if not, still he has my vote for the senatorial spot. third, Liza Maza is running for senator.
i don't like politics. but i realized that my vote matters. i am a supporter. and its time for me to make another step. all talk and no work means nothing.
so, if you still haven't registered, what are u waiting for? another downfall for our country? another revolution? act now! :)
Monday, August 3, 2009
DEAR PAPA
dear papa,
these past weeks, i've been thinking of u constantly than ever. i miss u.
in everything i do, it seems like you're all that i remember.
i miss you, pa!
the passing of former president cory aquino and watching kris, give her blow by blow on the last days of her mom made me think about our relationship. made me remember my last days with mama.
pa, i know i've done a lot of things that made you sad and mad. things i'm not proud of. words that i wish i could take back. but, i think those things and those words made us wiser and stronger. and i must say, even tigher.
the last weeks im there in cotabato was not easy but i treasure it the most. we don't have the best relationship back then because i know you're disappointed but those are the times i realized that you are the most important person in my life. as much as i don't want to leave, i have to because i need to find myself.
i won't say that i found myself but im getting there. on the way, i almost gave up. because on the process of looking for myself, i almost lost everything. the biggest mistake i unconsciously made. i thought, i always thought that everything's gonna be ok but for the nth time, i was wrong. last year was a crazy year for me. 'twas the first time i thought about running away and ending my life because i was so ashamed of what happened. and im still dealing with right now. im disappointed with myself, too. i don't trust myself anymore. and that's the lowest of all.
i kept on talking about this because it's the only way i could let go of everything.
i miss talking to you about everything. i miss oour movie marathons. i miss our foodtrips. i miss us playing uno stacko's, domino, scrabble, word games. i miss our conversations about latest issues and about people. i miss our saturdays where we would do the laundry. i miss our sundays together where we attend the mass at Cathedral and eat after. i miss visiting you at your office and having merienda at the canteen. i miss how you would tutor me on my lessons about income tax return and photography, how you would review me on my lessons. i miss how you would cook pancit canton early in the morning to keep me up while studying. the way you repair things and ask me to get the hammer or look for the screwdriver. i miss the way you teach me how to cook. i miss our music sessions. my noisy music and your slow jam songs. i still remember your appreciation on jeniffer lopez and spongecola.
i can go on for hours on the things i missed. but doing that will only make me cry and miss you even more.
pa, take care of yourself. we still have a lot of things to do. you need to be on my graduation day. have our vacation. do a lot of foodtrips.. and you're job to walk me on the aisle on my wedding day. you have to meet your apo and play with them just like you're doing now with ate's 3 muskeeters.
i may not communicate much but i hope you know and feel how much i love you. and how much i appreciate having you as my father.
i can't wait to see you again.
agnes
these past weeks, i've been thinking of u constantly than ever. i miss u.
in everything i do, it seems like you're all that i remember.
i miss you, pa!
the passing of former president cory aquino and watching kris, give her blow by blow on the last days of her mom made me think about our relationship. made me remember my last days with mama.
pa, i know i've done a lot of things that made you sad and mad. things i'm not proud of. words that i wish i could take back. but, i think those things and those words made us wiser and stronger. and i must say, even tigher.
the last weeks im there in cotabato was not easy but i treasure it the most. we don't have the best relationship back then because i know you're disappointed but those are the times i realized that you are the most important person in my life. as much as i don't want to leave, i have to because i need to find myself.
i won't say that i found myself but im getting there. on the way, i almost gave up. because on the process of looking for myself, i almost lost everything. the biggest mistake i unconsciously made. i thought, i always thought that everything's gonna be ok but for the nth time, i was wrong. last year was a crazy year for me. 'twas the first time i thought about running away and ending my life because i was so ashamed of what happened. and im still dealing with right now. im disappointed with myself, too. i don't trust myself anymore. and that's the lowest of all.
i kept on talking about this because it's the only way i could let go of everything.
i miss talking to you about everything. i miss oour movie marathons. i miss our foodtrips. i miss us playing uno stacko's, domino, scrabble, word games. i miss our conversations about latest issues and about people. i miss our saturdays where we would do the laundry. i miss our sundays together where we attend the mass at Cathedral and eat after. i miss visiting you at your office and having merienda at the canteen. i miss how you would tutor me on my lessons about income tax return and photography, how you would review me on my lessons. i miss how you would cook pancit canton early in the morning to keep me up while studying. the way you repair things and ask me to get the hammer or look for the screwdriver. i miss the way you teach me how to cook. i miss our music sessions. my noisy music and your slow jam songs. i still remember your appreciation on jeniffer lopez and spongecola.
i can go on for hours on the things i missed. but doing that will only make me cry and miss you even more.
pa, take care of yourself. we still have a lot of things to do. you need to be on my graduation day. have our vacation. do a lot of foodtrips.. and you're job to walk me on the aisle on my wedding day. you have to meet your apo and play with them just like you're doing now with ate's 3 muskeeters.
i may not communicate much but i hope you know and feel how much i love you. and how much i appreciate having you as my father.
i can't wait to see you again.
agnes
Sunday, August 2, 2009
food trippin'
some pics are taken last April. was plannin to share it but laziness got the best of me... the rest was just last Monday night when a cousin of mine had a vacation here at Cebu with her friends.
anyway, pics all about food trippin with my family (my brother, SheeShee and her friend, Jenny at Bigby's, Ayala and with Ate Bj at Ila Puti, IT Park..
anyway, pics all about food trippin with my family (my brother, SheeShee and her friend, Jenny at Bigby's, Ayala and with Ate Bj at Ila Puti, IT Park..
keep on keepin' on ...
from my previous entry last July 15, i wrote a letter to myself..
just today, i received an e-mail from a friend. Kuya Bob (he was on my People of my Year 2008 post. and well, i just want to share it to the rest of the people who are going to some bad times in their lives.
it's a Bob Dylan song, Tangled up in Blue.
I lived with them on Montague Street
In a basement down the stairs,
There was music in the cafes at night
And revolution in the air.
Then he started into dealing with slaves
And something inside of him died.
She had to sell everything she owned
And froze up inside.
And when finally the bottom fell out
I became withdrawn,
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew,
Tangled up in blue.
So now I'm goin' back again,
I got to get to her somehow.
All the people we used to know
They're an illusion to me now.
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenter's wives.
Don't know how it all got started,
I don't know what they're doin' with their lives.
But me, I'm still on the road
Headin' for another joint
We always did feel the same,
We just saw it from a different point of view,
Tangled up in blue.
.. really great song! :)
..and this 1968 image made by cartoonist Robert Crumb
..i think im gonna print this and post it on my wall to remind myself to KEEP ON! ;)
... THANKS KUYA BOB!!!
just today, i received an e-mail from a friend. Kuya Bob (he was on my People of my Year 2008 post. and well, i just want to share it to the rest of the people who are going to some bad times in their lives.
it's a Bob Dylan song, Tangled up in Blue.
I lived with them on Montague Street
In a basement down the stairs,
There was music in the cafes at night
And revolution in the air.
Then he started into dealing with slaves
And something inside of him died.
She had to sell everything she owned
And froze up inside.
And when finally the bottom fell out
I became withdrawn,
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew,
Tangled up in blue.
So now I'm goin' back again,
I got to get to her somehow.
All the people we used to know
They're an illusion to me now.
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenter's wives.
Don't know how it all got started,
I don't know what they're doin' with their lives.
But me, I'm still on the road
Headin' for another joint
We always did feel the same,
We just saw it from a different point of view,
Tangled up in blue.
.. really great song! :)
..and this 1968 image made by cartoonist Robert Crumb
..i think im gonna print this and post it on my wall to remind myself to KEEP ON! ;)
... THANKS KUYA BOB!!!
haters ---come on in!
why is it that whenever i talk, whenever i voice out my opinions, people will oppose it? why do people will always look for a hole where they can bring me down? what's worse is when they're so happy about it if im wrong or if i can't seem to support my ideas. i would rather hear them say "shut up" or "i don't want to hear your ideas" than shove it to my face that whatever im saying are nothing.
i love to share what i think. i love to share whatever it is that i've observed. but i just noticed these past days that everytime i do that, im being dragged down. why? am i saying the wrong things or they just don't want to hear it because its true and they can't handle it? i want to believe its the latter.
but thinking about it, why would i get affected? i'll say whatever i want and need to say. as long as i know im not stepping on anyone's shoe, i'll continue doing it. if people have a problem with that, so be it. i'm gonna welcome them with open arms. im gonna welcome their ideas and their high voices and raised eyebrows. because they're just showing that im powerful.powerful that it ticks them off. powerful that just by my words they get affected and it starts to irritate them. too powerful that they can't stop thinking about the things im saying.
so, if ever your one of these people, THANKS! ..thanks for giving me the power. thanks for giving me a reason to not breakdown and give up. you're my fuel. without you, i'd be nothing. so keep on, haters... you just don't know how important you are to me.
i love to share what i think. i love to share whatever it is that i've observed. but i just noticed these past days that everytime i do that, im being dragged down. why? am i saying the wrong things or they just don't want to hear it because its true and they can't handle it? i want to believe its the latter.
but thinking about it, why would i get affected? i'll say whatever i want and need to say. as long as i know im not stepping on anyone's shoe, i'll continue doing it. if people have a problem with that, so be it. i'm gonna welcome them with open arms. im gonna welcome their ideas and their high voices and raised eyebrows. because they're just showing that im powerful.powerful that it ticks them off. powerful that just by my words they get affected and it starts to irritate them. too powerful that they can't stop thinking about the things im saying.
so, if ever your one of these people, THANKS! ..thanks for giving me the power. thanks for giving me a reason to not breakdown and give up. you're my fuel. without you, i'd be nothing. so keep on, haters... you just don't know how important you are to me.
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