..because I KNOW

.. that soon, i'll be fine.

.. that soon, i can make them proud.

.. that this sh!t im in will soon be over.

.. the MAN ABOVE will never abandon me.

Travis Barker survives

Blink 182's drummer, Travis Barker survives a plane crash last September 19 with his friend, DJ AM [Adam Goldstein] in Columbia, South Carolina that killed four others. the two of them are the only survivors of the late-night Learjet crash [video]. It happened when they were about to leave the city after performing a free concert for a thousand college students.

"I hate plane. My biggest fear ever is to be involved in a plane crash, so when that happened... well, I'm just thankful to be alive! I'm just grateful to be here at all. ... I'm so anxious to get out of here. I've just been in surgery after surgery. I have third-degree burns basically from my feet up to my waist and both hands. One of my hands has second-degree burns and one has third-degree burns. ...I'm trying to have a quick recovery and play the drums again and be able to hold my two kids again," says Barker during his 1st interview after the accident.

He's hoping to leave the hospital in a few weeks time and be all good though the process will take some time.

if i never see your face again...

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

You say I’m not your type, But I can make you sway.

Now you’ve gone somewhere else, Far away
I don’t know if I will find you.

If I never see your face again, I don’t mind

Sometimes you move so well
It’s hard not to give in.

I’m lost, I can’t tell
Where you end and I begin.

I wonder if she’s half
The lover that I am.

Take me down, but take it easy
Make me think but don’t deceive me...

friends for keeps!

people come and go.
there's a lot of them in my life that i don't even know where there are now. and i don't really care.

BUT,
.. lately, i've been out with friends almost every night. the ones i know, i'll really look for if any of them goes MIA. i kinda forgot how it is being with them and doing crazy stuff just because i was so busy with my 'other' life. i focused on just one person and now i see how wrong was that.

.. im happy! whenever im with them, there's no dull moment. one text, and they're on their way to help you out. i love being with them and no, i won't exchange them for anyone else.

some of them i just got to know recently but it feels like ages! i can tell them almost everything without hesitations. they LISTEN. they don't judge. they tell you frankly if you're being stupid. and what i LOVE most about them is the fact that, they're THERE. even if you try to contact them during an ungodly hour, you know for sure that you've got someone you can call and talk to.

*** i don't know if any of you can read this. but nevertheless,

THANK YOU!

[amards sah?] but it's all for real! :)

being swept away

i've always wanted to see my brother happy with a girl he truly loves. a girl who would love him the way he deserves it. honestly, whenever i see my brother cry [yes, he cries], because he had a fight with his gf, i cry too. if he gets hurt, i get hurt. all i know is that, i want him to be happy! he deserves to be happy!

last month, he got married to one of the nicest girls i know. and im glad that my bro got her.. im glad that finally, they are tied. she makes my brother excited for the next day, she makes my bro smile with no particular reason at all.. and seeing my bro that way is enough for me.

where are you?

it's NOT the EFFORT that makes me smile..

it's the WILLINGNESS of that person to go through the effort of doing crazy things


.......... just to see me SMILE *sigh*

IT’S NOT THAT “EASY”

Coming from a broken family, seeing my sister broke down because of a guy and my brother getting all heartbroken because of a girl, my friends being cheated on by their partners got me all scared. I was still young when I got exposed to this kind of scene. And with that, I have this trust issues I just can’t seem to get off my system. I promised myself that if I get into a relationship, I’ll be a very good partner. I’ll do whatever it takes. Easy to say it but I wasn’t aware how hard it is. I thought, seeing all those things are enough for me to be a good partner. I was wrong.

I got into a relationship when I was 14 with a guy who is 2 years older than me. A guy my Dad doesn’t approve of. But still, I fought for him. At a young age, I did almost everything just to save what I have with this guy. Since it was my first, I wanted to believe that what we have is real. We only lasted for 4 months. After that I had like 5 other boyfriends and some flings. But I have to say, I’ve fallen in love only twice. The last time was early last year. And until now, I’m having a hard time trusting again. I tried and tried. Yet, still I failed. I guess I’m still not ready. I stay positive when it comes to relationships. I want to be positive.

But my being positive led me to a series of a not so good relationships and ready to bury experiences. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being positive is not a good thing. It is. As long as you don’t get lost in your own dream world. Most of the people who don’t know much about what I’ve been through would view me as a play girl because I’m always seen with different guys. I can’t blame them. Since, I do always hang out with guys than my girl friends because I’m more comfortable with them. Anyway, I’m giving them the benefit of doubt.

If I’ll tell every single detail of the relationships I’ve been and how I got where I am now, I think I’ll be able to write a book already. Since that’s quite long, I’m just going to jump off right to the “now”. I met someone. Smile smile. Remember my last post? Yes, that’s him. Every time my phone beeps, I always hope that it’s him texting. Every time I open my Friendster account, I always hope that I have a message or a comment from him. I just can’t get him off my mind. I try my best not to think of him but I find it so hard! I don’t like this. Our situation is not easy since he is taken. I’m falling so hard to a guy who is already taken. Nice, huh? I’m no home wrecker and I curse those who are, for the reason that my very own family fell apart because of a third party. I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to be part of that kind of drama. Again, it’s easy to say. My mind and heart keeps on fighting. I know what is right. But my heart is screaming for him. My mind is all about him but my heart doesn’t want to create pain for another person. My heart is starting to beat for him but my mind says it isn’t right. I thought I knew what to do. I thought with what happened to my family and with the relationships I’ve been, I’d be able to pull myself and be a good partner. Well, I just thought. I JUST THOUGHT. There’s more to life than this. I know that. But tell me, how? How can I get rid of this?

How can you rid off a guy who can make you smile with just a Hi? How can you get rid of guy who can make you stand up early in the morning just because he wakes up early? How can you get rid of a guy who makes you get out of your house in the middle of the night just because he’s bored and he wants to hang out? How can you get rid of a guy who made you slow down in drinking just because he said so? How can you get rid of guy that made you willing to do anything he asks for your own good? How can I get rid of a guy who makes me feel “this” way again? The very feeling I had early last year. How can I get rid of him without even trying if we could have something?

Without even trying.. trying means trying to ruin his relationship with his girlfriend. Trying means me, being a home wrecker. Trying means me being inconsiderate. Trying means me being selfish.

IM STUCK!

... being MILEY

ok.. im not a Miley Cyrus fan but her song 7 things has been playing in my head over and over again since Sunday night. i don't know. the song doesn't really fit the situation im in now but the last line .. "And the 7th thing i hate the most that you do. you make me love you" --totally strucked me!

..see, i just met this guy and we were in a club with our own circle of friends. we were dancing when the dj played a hiphop version of "7 things" ..yea yea.. too early for the "you make me love u" line. but the thing is, everytime i hear the song, his face is all i can think of and the way he smiles...

and then last night, he asked me out.. and there goes the song again!

i've got a lot to say bout this guy but im keeping my mouth shut for the mean time..

there's just something bout this one that i can't even focus. and whenever im with him, things just fall into place.. arrgghhh!!!

anyway, while searching for the whole lyrics of 7 things, i stumbled upon Miley's other famous song, "See You Again". ..i think this fits more...

... i just can't wait to see him again!