getting healed through a dream

i started not feeling good last friday night. it continued during the weekend but still, i was able to go out with my brother and his wife and cousins who were visiting the next day. on monday, i was glad that i was feeling a bit ok especially that i still have an exam scheduled in the afternoon. i thought i was all better but when i woke up wednesday morning it's all back. my whole body was in pain, terrible headache plus im starting to have colds. not to mention the "visitor" who just came.

i was trying to act as if everything was ok. i even cooked for my bro, cleaned the kitchen, threw the garbage and just practically did the chores around the apartment. but afternoon came and im hot and feverish. i can't stand for along coz i get all dizzy. but even if i was feeling all that, i managed to still cook food for myself and wash the dishes and fix my bed. around 8:30pm i can't take it anymore and i felt like crying already because i just want to rest and sleep but i feel so uncomfortable. i hadn't taken a bath not coz i believe in the sayings of the old about not taking a bath when you're sick coz it worsens your condition. but, i just don't have the energy anymore. and the water just feels so cold for me and going down to boil some water is the last thing on my mind. so i just went to bed and texted my sister about what im feeling. though she's far, i kinda got the comfort i needed.

i took my temperature and it was 39. i was getting scared by the minute because i was thinking what if i got dengue or typhoid? but i dismissed it right away by thinking about my Mom and how she takes care of me whenever im sick.

Thursday ---- i woke up today feeling like nothing happened. i feel way better like i was never sick! i then i remember my dream..

my MOM! she was on my dream! and i tried hard to recall everything....

we were sitting on my grandparents' car port while she's cleaning my fingers on my right hand. she kept on teasing me about my neck being so dirty because i still haven't taken a bath.an officemate of my Dad was there too. my Mom told her that she feels so sad that i always sleep due to lack of energy. i can't remember if i said anything to her.. all i know is that i can't take my eyes off of her. my late uncle moni was there, too. he's holding a digicam and kept on taking pics and he still has the boyish grin ha always have.

... maybe throughout the night, my mom was there taking care of me. making sure i'll be alright and that when i wake up im all fine. maybe she got my message that i miss her so much and that i long for the way she watches over me whenever im sick.

whatever the reason why im better now, im really thankful! the thing is, thinking about my Mom makes me strong, it gives me the willingness to fight. i've broken a lot of promises but one thing im definitely not gonna break is her belief that im gonna be ok when she leaves. that's what she told one of her cousin in-law before she passed away. that even if im still young, she believes that i can make it no matter what. and im not gonna let her down. i will and always be alright no matter how hard life's gonna be for me. im gonna make sure of that.

........... thanks MOM!!!
..............your youngest daughter misses you so bad!

BRYLLE

someone is staying with us here in the apartment. the younger brother of ate lois. Brylle. it was a bit awkward because he's 15 and i don't really know how to deal with boys that age. but it turns out, on the 2nd day, he was easy to get along. he's funny and such a smart ass! he won't stop teasing me about Adam Lambert being so gay.. seeing the way he is with ate Lois makes me want to have a younger brother. he's so sweet and nice with a bit of a devilish side. i don't know. maybe i just miss my nephews or being young. whatever it is, it's fun to have Brylle here even though he's only gonna stay for a couple of days.

just random

i've mentioned earlier on my post about a party i was to attend. that was last night. from school, me and my friends just dropped by at anas pad to change clothes and fix ourselves. after that, we went directly to the venue. twas my first time there and it was a total blah. but it's true how a place wouldn't matter if you're with people you enjoy hanging-out with. the party was for the graduates but i had my dose of fun with my girls. lotsa picture taking moment, crazy talks and laughing. and i was right! J was there even though he isn't a SPED major... but i wasn't able to see him play if he did for that matter. i only heard a couple or 2 of performances from this american guy the higher years invited. heard because i was outside with my friends at that time.

im gonna post some pics as soon as i get a copy.

final exams starts tomorrow for me. im not sure if im ready. but im pretty sure that im NOT not ready.

im looking forward for this weekend! my aunt and cousins are gonna be back here in Cebu after a couple of days stay in Bohol. Can't wait to spend a bit of crazy time with them!

AI goes country!

it's country week on AI and the first thing that came into my mind was ....ADAM. i really can't picture him doing country. so, when i saw his performance i was just like Kara... "confused and happy." he always puts his flavor in everything he does and it amazes me how big his range of vocals are. he may not have the best performance for the week but he's still on my top 3! :)

... my top performances would be of Kris Allen --AGAIN! when ryan said that he's going to perform without his guitar, i was afraid for him. but, he pulled it off! ..and Anoop Desai! ...first 2 lines and i was like "the Noop Dogg's back!!!!" i was so happy with his performance! im hearing the Anoop that i heard on the auditions and im just really happy for him.

Danny was ok. i didn't feel the first part but through the chorus, he did it again! Matt, is someone i would love to listen over and over again.. his voice is very soothing.. simon's comment about matt being like michael buble was right... but i think randys' comment of him being a mixture of michael and justin timberlake is more appropriate.

.. least fave performance was of lil rounds --again. it wasn't bad but she could have done better. and scott macintyre. i love the song but uhmmm... not for him. i have to agree with paula. he should start performing without the piano and try to explore.

i kinda enjoyed mike sarvers' performance, too but i didn't understand a thing he said! hahaha! alexis, allison and megan did really great. i should say, megan was lookin really gorgeous even if she's sick. love the dress!

*** this is just my opinion. if someone got offended or thinks that im wrong, you can always leave a comment. but then again, we all don't think the same.

MY FAVORITE PERSON OF THE MONTH!

it's the 16th day of the month already and im way overdue with this post..

so, dahil matagal na, hindi ko papatagalin pa ng lalo...

for JANUARY...

... my doe-eyed smiling little cutie neice



ANGELA KACEY MALCAMPO

her mom is one of my closest cousins. and i think im going to spoil her kid as much as i can. haha! anyway, Kacey (Ka-sy) is the cutest! i love the way she smiles and brightens our day! her laugh is so addictive! and she is so easy to take care. she doesn't cry a lot, she cooperates and she responds on what you do. when you talk, she would look at you and smile like it's as if she understand everything you're saying. She's my fave person of January because she reminds me of home. i spent the xmas season with the Malcampos and she reminds me of my nephews and being a kid again. and though i miss my family terribly, when i look at her, she makes me feel that im blessed and that i should be happy no matter what. i miss her! i miss putting her to sleep and carrying her. i miss her pretty smiles and the eyes.

to her Mom, Bea.. i know you'll be able to read this because im going to text you later to read this. hahaha! anyway, take care of her. i know things aren't that easy but you'll get through. WE'LL get through. im just here whenever you need someone. don't hesitate. kahit ano pa man yan. i know that you are aware of that. paki-kumos na lang si baby Kacey for me. i love you both!


for FEBRUARY...

... the crazy-goofy sister of my sister-in-law



JENNY REVIL

at first i thought she's a little snob but it turns out she's outrageously the complete opposite! she's smart (cum laude from Silliman University), she's pretty, totally nice and down-to-earth. we share the same room, and it just amazes me how we get along like we'vve known each other for years! just a couple of months together in the same roof but i feel so comfortable to her. she's like my sister, she listens to me even though i just rant over and over again, she puts up with my craziness (being noisy, pestering her when she's about to go to sleep, making pranks and jokes ..) and she's patient and very giving. JinJin is like my refuge. she understands me. she knows when to bug me and when i needed space. we talk about silly things and she's also open to talk about adult stuff and im lucky to have someone like her.


for MARCH...

... well, it's too early to tell.

hope you'll continue reading my blahs ... who knows, maybe your going to be the next person here!

thoughts during the weekend

was able to see my cousins and aunt from cotabato city early yesterday morning. it felt soooo good to see them again! and hugging my aunt tight was something that i needed. it felt totally great! i miss them to bits... especially my aunt whose been there for me eversince my mom passed away. she was always ready to help me and very supportive with my decisions. i haven't seen them for a year and 'twas a bummer that i can't go with them to Bohol coz i still have my finals this week. but then again, they're going to spend 2 more nights here this coming weekend.

one more week and school's out. excited, yea... but not really. i love my classes and i enjoy each of them. 1 sem isn't enough. there' just too much left to learn. but, we all have to move on and i want to graduate soon, too. so, i have no choice. right now, im just pushing myself to be excited on my next subjects for the summer class.

im gonna attend a party this tuesday night. sending-off party for the graduates of SPED. im looking forward to it. i just want to get to know the rest of Speders and spend more time with my new friends outside school. also crossing my fingers that J would be there and play, though he's not a Sped major. but who knows? most of his friends are Speders.

american idol mode. i was so right with jasmine and jorge. jasmine is just so plain and boring. she has the voice but she makes me want to go to sleep. with jorge, i don't think he's an AI material. my top performances was of Adam, Kris, Alexis and Danny. the A's are amazing! adam should be making records by now. geez! nobody saw the talent before? tsktsk.. Kris as usual was so cute! i love watching him play his guitar while singing. he seems like a complete different Kris. doens't have one of the greatest voice but always has a great performance. and alexis? from boring to OH-SOME!!! she's my fave girl. reminds me of Christina Aguilera. :) with Danny, you can feel the passion whenever he sings and that's what i love about him the most.

other faves who were a bit of a blah for me were Anoop and lil rounds. they're great but they are starting to be boring. i hope they'll recover. especially Anoop! check him out on youtube with his performances with the UNC Clef Hangers.

STUPIDITY STRIKES!!!

i wrote this last night (0307/23:47). and i realized i don't have internet load anymore so it's just now that i was able to post this.

-----------
while im typing at this very moment, my heart is still racing so fast!

WHY?

well, i was transferring some of the trial shots i did with my sister in-law's digicam. after, i checked the cam again and decided to take some more shots. but i realized that there's no picture left! and i just transferred a couple of pics so how come? i was so nervous and started to think of ways on how to explain to my brother and his wife that i've deleted accidentally the over a year bunch of pics that was left on the cam! im so doomed! im pretty sure my brother's going to get mad at me.

seems like i always manage to get myself into trouble every week.

so, i checked the laptop again. coz i thought maybe the rest of the pics got into the documents though i don't know how's that possible. i was just totally keeping my fingers crossed. i rechecked the recyle bin over and over again but NOTHING! ahhhh!!! my hands are shaking! im not supposed to touch the cam without their permission so i guess this is some kind of punishment for breaking another rule. grrr!

i checked the cam again, this time thinking that maybe i pressed something and didn't realized that i changed the settings whatsoever.

to cut it short... while trasnferring the pictures to my USB, of course there would be nothing left in the album (digicam). what i forgot was that i was only looking at the album where the pictures were. i didn't bothered checking the other dates where the rest of the pics were taken.

arrrgggghhhh!!!! another stoooopid moment from the 13th grandchild...

some help PLEASE

... an on-line friend of mine, Christina, needs some help. she needs at least 200 Filipino students to answer her questionnaire for her master thesis in Psychology. She studies at the University in Salzburg, Austria.

.. if u have time, please do click the link below and fill up the survey.. it'll only take a couple of minutes.

here's the link:

http://www.%20unipark.%20de/uc/A_UniSalzburg_Sozialpsychologie/ce31/

nega magnet princess

what a way to start my day!

.. i was on my way down stairs, carefully going down because i just woke up and i don't want to trip BUT!

... i did!

yep! i fell at least 6 steps. no cuts whatsoever but my right arm and hip aches so much! i wanna cry but all i did was laugh at my clumsiness.

right now, im fighting the urge of wanting to go home. i want to just lay down but i don't want my brother to make a big fuss about it. and from what happened yesterday, im in no mood of talking to him.

apparently, the talk we had last saturday night was just for "that" moment. i thought i had my brother back, but i again, the jokes on me. anyway, "block the pain!" --saw this video clip of Galen Peterson yesterday and it's as if he's talking to me... BLOCK THE PAIN! ..im not talking about the pain from the fall but the emotional pain im going through that i no one seems to get. i don't know if im making sense right now. and i don't really care.

i wish my Mom's here. she's the only one who got me.

FAVES on MYSPACE

i've been on Myspace since i was in High School and there's a bunch of artists (independent) that i totally absolutely LOVE! ...listening to their music is something i always do whenever im on-line since i can't get hold of their albums. yes, some of them are actually available on itunes and some even accepts orders. but, for a student like me, who needs to save as much as i can, purchasing albums is out of the picture. so, yea, thanks to myspace and youtube!

in return for the happiness their music gives me, (i've thought about this for a long time already), im going to share to you guys some of my FAVE artists on Myspace! please please, do take your time and listen to their tracks! these are the artists who really needs recognition. these are the artists who really works hard not just for money or fame but because MUSIC IS WHAT THEY ARE.

so here ...

CHRIS TOWNSEND

TRANSIT STUDIO

LION HEART

SETH JONES

these are just 4 of them. i'll try my best to share the rest on my next post.

to listen to their tracks, you can log on to Myspace.com, go to the music tab and search for their names. if you like what you're hearing, help me spread the word about them!

THANKS!!!

i hope you enjoy listening to their songs as much as i do!