paano nga bang maging isang bayani?

ito yung tanong na umiikot sa isip ko buong araw dahil sa ito ang huling tanong na ibinato ni Efren Penaflorida sa mga tatakbong presidente kagabi (Isang Tanong ng GMA 7). ang dami kong nabasang komento tungkol sa mga sagot at kung paano sinagot ng mga tatakbo ang tanong. hindo ko napanuod ang talakayang iyon pero sa kung babase ako sa komento ng mga tao, mukhang angat si Gilbert "Gibo" Teodoro.

pero itong entry na ito, hindi tungkol sa palabas kagabi. napansin ko lang kasi na karamihan sa mga tao e, komento lang ng komento. e, kung kayo kaya ang tatanungin? PAANO MAGING ISANG BAYANI? anong isasagot nyo?

parang madali di ba? pero hindi. madaling magsalita, mahirap gawin. tanggalin natin yung mahirap, at subukan nating sagutin.

bilang isang kolehiyalang tubong mindanao, mahirap maging bayani. gagawa ka ng maganda, may makakabunggo ka, may maiinggit, delikado buhay mo. nakatatak iyon sa isip ko. pero hindi iyon naging balakid sa kagustuhan kong makatulong. musmos pa lamang ako, malaki na ang pangarap kong makatulong at matawag na isang inspirasyon. nakakatawa mang isipin pero, ganun ako. malaki kung mangarap.

para sa akin, para maging bayani, magsisimula ako sa maliit na bagay. dun naman lahat nagsisimula, di ba? sa taos pusong pagtulong sa kapwa, sa paggamit ng ating talento para maibsan ang kahirapan ng iba; kung anong meron tayo, ibahagi natin. hindi lang sa pagakain, sa gamit kundi pati na rin sa kung anong nalalaman natin. HINDI tsismis! kundi mga inpormasyong makatutulong sa pag usbong ng bansa natin, impormasyong alam nating kakailanganin ng mga tao para mabuhay ng tama. para sa akin, para maging isang bayani, bubutihan ko ang aking pag-aaral at ng maibahagi ko ang aking natutunan sa mga kapus-palad kong mamamayan; at nang magsilbing inspirasyon ako di lang sa mga kapwa kong Mindanawon, kundi sa lahat. upang makita rin nila na hindi kailangang nasa posisyon ka para matawag na isang bayani. hindi kailangan na may pera ka para maging isang bayani. kailangan, dedikasyon, puso at takot sa Diyos.

may sagot nga ako pero hindi pa ako kuntento. mahirap pala talaga. basta ang alam ko, gagawin ko na lang lahat ng makakaya ko para makatulong sa lahat. kahit na sa maliit na bagay lang. kahit na yung tipong mapapangiti ko lang kapwa ko, ok na ako.

kayo, pano nyo sasagutin ang tanong na ito?

PAANO NGA BANG MAGING ISANG BAYANI?

November 13, 2009/Friday d 13th

i don't really believe in the friday the 13th curse. i even thought that i'll be lucky coz 13 is one of my fave number and im the 13th grandchild. was even extra perky the moment i wake up that day eventhough i know there'll be a couple of whoopsie moments waiting for me. GOD-jokes, i call it. yea, weird, i know. i kinda look forward to it everyday coz its shows God's humor in a different way. and it's my way of making fun of situations gone bad and moments where the same things seem to happen to me and to Squeep (u might call it coincidence). these GOD-jokes helps me stay positive and thankful.

here are some of the whoopsie moments that happened to me last Friday:
- i got locked inside pur school's bathroom cubicle --can't seem to unlock the freakin door. i was stuck inside for just a couple of minutes (THANK GOD!) ..tried my best to pull the lock even if my fingers were hurting already. laughed at it with my friends after
- entered a wrong classroom
- almost got late in one of my subjects because i waited outside the wrong classroom
- slipped on the ramp
- tripped on the sidewalk and almost fell down by the roadside

and the ulitmate of all................

- my 2 cell phones were snatched ----from inside of my freakin bag!

yep! i was on my way home when it happened. im aware of snatchers in the jeepney coz the past weeks i witnessed how these guys (take note: BIG construction worker lookin guys) do their trick. but still, i take the jeepney most of the time thinking im safe because i know how they work and i can easily spot them. i was right! just a couple of minutes after i sat in the jeepney, i sensed that the 2 guys infront of me were snatchers. they confirmed it when (1) one of the guys transfered beside me ---why would he if there's more space on his side and he has the perfect seat since it wasn't hot on where he was seated? (2) when guy A pointed to the new pasahero to sit next to his partner who was already seated beside me ---the pasahero ignored it and (3) when guy A gave up his seat to a lady and sat beside his partner. it would've sound nice but its just one of the moments where i felt something's on and and was uneasy with their actions.

the whole time this was happening, the guy beside me, kept on moving and can't seem to sit still. by the way, i already hugged my bag the moment he sat beside me. so i was really kampante that nothing will be taken away from me. i studied his face, looked for marks that would identify him and practically didn't take my eyes off of him. but i got nervous, too, when i realized he could have a weapon he could use, especially when i think he noticed i was already studying him. i was thinking of getting out of the jeep but quickly brushed it off since im already near my apartment. seconds before i got out of the jeepney, i checked my bag and still saw my wallet and the lil red pouch where i keep my cell phones. IT WAS THERE! so imagine my surprise when i checked again just seconds after i was out of the jeepney and the red pouch was GONE! FUCK! i can feel my blood rushing, my heart pounding, i just freakin want to scream! dammit! i can't even remember how i was able to cross the street without getting hit. the whole time i was walking to my apartment, i can't think straight. i kept on thinking how did he do that? how was he able to get it without me noticing it? i got my answer the moment i reached for my door keys. the fuckin asshole tore the side of my bag! i believe he used a blade to do it. damn, he's fast!

i cried for hours. i cried because, ok, im not materialistic so if i have something, i really treasure it because i know money is hard and i can't just buy another cell phone anytime i want. and those 2 cell phones were given to me by my sister. my Smart sim i had it for years! most of my contacts there are really important and right now, i have no other way of reaching them. i cried, because i realized that the guy could've easily hurt me instead of just tearing my bag (i was still lucky!). but what made me cry the most was the fact that i was so stupid! REALLY STUPID! i should've trusted my instincts. i knew, I KNEW something bad was about to happen and i fuckin ignored it! i felt soooo low..

BUT!

im going to say this again, IM STILL LUCKY AND BLESSED! lucky that i wasn't hurt. and blessed because i have a great family, friends and Arthur to remind me of what's important. that experience opened my eyes even more to the cruelty of life. but it taught me to LOVE life even more. because it gave me a chance to see the world and understand the evil doers. it also gave me a chance to learn how to forgive. it also reminded me of how some people are so unfortunate that they don't have a conscience and can't use their brains right. haha! im glad i can laugh at this situation now..

worry wart strikes!

its been over a month now and im still having a hard time talking about something else aside from him. i everywhere, it's him.. here, on my twitter and facebook, it's still him. i listen to music, there's always a line or something to remind me of him. when i watch the news or read a book, it's still the same. the times when i thought i've done it, he slowly creeps back in my mind! i sound like i hate it, don't i? don't get me wrong. i love thinking about him. i love how he occupies my mind 24/7. yep! even in my dreams, he's there. it just scares me, you know? i've fallen for a guy before but it's nowhere near this. what im feeling right now is so intense! crazy and amazingly intense!

he left during my finals week (1st week of October). i was taking my exams with him on my mind. not good, i know. i just tried answering my exams as fast as i could. tried to put him at the back of my mind for a couple of minutes just to save myself in school. was able to do that --thank God! im scared to see my final grades. just kept on praying and wishing that it's still all 1. and then lastweek, when it was released, i was so ecstatic to see that i was able to maintain all my grades and even got higher grades in 2 of my subjects! was sooo sooo thankful!

and now that 2nd semester is going to start nextweek, i know i need some help. im not gonna ask God to remove him from my mind and be ok with it. im not gonna ask God to stop his God-jokes. im not gonna ask the stars and moon to stop doing their magic. im not gonna ask the music to stop filling our ears. im not going to ask him to stop being out of control. that's so stupid!

so what do i want? i want to learn how to focus. i actually think im suffering from ADD but that's a differnt story. see, im trying to write something about how school's going to start and how i want to be able to focus but i ended up talking about him again! ack! anyway, i know i can do this. and this time, it'll be way better than before because i have him by my side. so why am i worried? lol!

full moon blues

i've always loved full moon even before i met him. my dad would always tell me how i act differently whenever it's that time of the month. he says im so hyper and happy. i don't know. some of my friends noticed it too. it's crazy, i know.

whenever it's full moon or new moon, i always see to it that i'll be able to spend some time looking at it, appreciate its beauty (was so mad when i found out NASA was bombing it. stupid!) and be thankful for everything. seeing it that way brings peace in me. i like it! it helps me think..

but last night was the first time i didn't glanced up to the sky. i'm ok. i know i was. but the moon reminds me of him. so, as i went to bed, i tried reading his book and his text messages and tweets and it DESTROYED me! i always say i miss him because i do. but last night was different. the feeling was so intense that i got confused already.

...i ended up crying myself to sleep...