worry wart strikes!

its been over a month now and im still having a hard time talking about something else aside from him. i everywhere, it's him.. here, on my twitter and facebook, it's still him. i listen to music, there's always a line or something to remind me of him. when i watch the news or read a book, it's still the same. the times when i thought i've done it, he slowly creeps back in my mind! i sound like i hate it, don't i? don't get me wrong. i love thinking about him. i love how he occupies my mind 24/7. yep! even in my dreams, he's there. it just scares me, you know? i've fallen for a guy before but it's nowhere near this. what im feeling right now is so intense! crazy and amazingly intense!

he left during my finals week (1st week of October). i was taking my exams with him on my mind. not good, i know. i just tried answering my exams as fast as i could. tried to put him at the back of my mind for a couple of minutes just to save myself in school. was able to do that --thank God! im scared to see my final grades. just kept on praying and wishing that it's still all 1. and then lastweek, when it was released, i was so ecstatic to see that i was able to maintain all my grades and even got higher grades in 2 of my subjects! was sooo sooo thankful!

and now that 2nd semester is going to start nextweek, i know i need some help. im not gonna ask God to remove him from my mind and be ok with it. im not gonna ask God to stop his God-jokes. im not gonna ask the stars and moon to stop doing their magic. im not gonna ask the music to stop filling our ears. im not going to ask him to stop being out of control. that's so stupid!

so what do i want? i want to learn how to focus. i actually think im suffering from ADD but that's a differnt story. see, im trying to write something about how school's going to start and how i want to be able to focus but i ended up talking about him again! ack! anyway, i know i can do this. and this time, it'll be way better than before because i have him by my side. so why am i worried? lol!