define

what is a friend?

this past months i've been struggling to define the word friend. i have lots of them, if you ask me. but these days, i don't really know if i do.

when im not seen hanging-out, when there's no word from me, most of those "friends" of mine disappeared, too. from the months of spending time with a lot of different people who claims that i have their backs was gone the instant i decided to just lay low, the moment i stopped posting pictures on my friendster account, the time i stopped posting bulletins, the day i decided to just stay at home, that's the time i haven't heard from most of them.

what is a friend?

i gained a few when i entered BED SPED.

i showed leadership skills, i aced my exams, gained teachers respect, having conversations with the "socialites/elites" in school, getting my way most of the time...

no one would think that im a shiftee. no one would think that im the new kid. classmates would ask for my opinion. classmates would love to have me in their groups. classmates would volunteer me in every presentation. everytime i talk, they would listen.

they would sit beside me. they would eat lunch with me. they would try to strike a conversation and even if i show them that im not interested, they would still push themselves. they would ask how am i like it really matters to them. they would ask what i like, what movie i saw lately, what book im reading at the moment, the music im listening to...

the next thing i know, there's a lot of mini "me" walking around. cheap version i would say.

next thing i know, some of them don't really pay much attention to me anymore. they don't talk to me as often. not until im seen doing something different or heard talking about something new.

what is a friend?

i don't know anymore. tell me what is a friend.
being surrounded by a lot of people, trying to be this and that for them, drained me. i thought i know what is a friend. but every definition i know got lost somewhere.

i don't even know if i am a friend to anyone anymore. how would i know? i can't even define the word friend.

they say immitation is the best form of flattery. ok. i won't argue with that. because im not all original anyway. but sometimes it gets irritating when people claim that its their idea. i don't know why im saying this. its out of topic. but whatever, im known for saying random things all the time!