delayed posts...

*** ok. 3 different posts. VERY LATE POSTS. i know. i actually kinda forgot about this. i was just looking for something and this is what i found! i think i wrote this a couple of weeks ago. except for the american idol part which i wrote just last week. whatever.

toodles! ;)
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ok. i can't really count how many times i've typed and deleted the lines i've wrote for the past 30 minutes. i don't know. i just can't seem to gather my thoughts. to think there's a lot of things i wanna share and talk about. *SIGH*

randomness alert!

im taking up summer classes which im totally enjoying! i guess the dork in me hasn't faded yet. im getting good feedbacks from my teachers which surprises me because im just being me. its when i don't exert much effort that finally, the teachers and the people around me started to notice my "determination". i didn't know there's such thing as that. but whatever!

it's been 7 months now that i've totally closed my doors to any guys. 7 mos since i've done social suicide. 7 mos of trying to prove myself and fighting the urge to rebel. 7 mos of silence from most of the people i've hanged-out with for the past 2 years. mos of hiding and trying to put a mask that im this and that. you can call me a fake, but i call it being my other self. there's a couple of different sides of me that i myself can't seem to keep up.

im done with the pain. im done with tears. im done with heartaches.

everything that happens really has a reason. EVERYTHING.

im not gonna say that im happy with the things that has happened in my life the past years. but im feeling truly blessed that im strong enough to face everything thrown my way. i feel lucky that im starting to see and understand things in every positive side. 21 years of existence and it took me a long time and a bunch of bickering with everyone whose been trying to help me, to shake and wake myself up from the nightmare i've created. i always claim that im mature and that i know what im doing. but im acting more childish in every possible way. im so stubborn that i ended up not only hurting myself but my family, too.

i think what im trying to say is that i've changed. im a completely different person from who i was last year. well, ok. not completely. but a big part of me is just gone. erased. deleted.


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i've been planning to delete my friendster account for like a month now but i just can't seem to bring myself to. idk. but im thinking, i have myspace and facebook plus a blogspot acct and im getting tired of friendster already. oh and im on twitter now too. all because of the american idols. lol! pathetic if u might think but on twitter, everything is much easier!

anyway, i so promise that by june, its buhbye friendster! ok, not entirely. coz well im still gonna maintain my exclusive friendster acct. yep! exclusive coz im not gonna accept friend requests from people i don't really know. and its gonna be on private view. if ur reading this and we're connected on friendster, and we don't really know each other, well, here are my links if u still want to know what im up to.

myspace
twitter
facebook

so there. i sound like a total freak but whatever.
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kris allen and adam lambert

i was right with my top 5 but then matt giraud got booted out early. my top 3 was right and so as my top 2!

adam has been my fave eversince i saw him auditioned. he has the pipes! and i've seen his performances on youtube, too. FIYERO on WICKED. love it! in every performance, breathtaking is an understatement. there's just no word on how to describe him. he's helluvaMazing!!! he's my american idol!

BUT!

here comes the dark horse, kris allen. i just noticed him during hollywood week. if im not mistaken, he's in the group with asia and matt giraud. anyway, he has this john mayer/jason mraz with-his-own-twist in every performance. it also helps that he has this really cute boyish charm which attracts millions of girls! count me in. haha!

right now, im so excited to watch the finale... the twitterIDOL-bunch are just so crazy! Anoop, Matt, Alexis, Danny, Scott and even those from top 36 like felicia, jackie, ricky, and casey won't stop talking about the rehearsals... arrghhh!!! its gonna be aired a lil late here in the philippines but the part 2 would be broadcasted LIVE! good thing i don't have exams on thursday.. :)

don't really care who wins. i think they both deserve it. but still adam is my fave! ;)