watak na utak

My summer class just ended last week and the summer is going to end in a week. I don’t know how to spend it. Just one day of laying in bed and watching tv and reading a book is driving me insane! Im pretty sure most students would love that kind of day. Doing nothing day. Being lazy day. But I don’t. I just spent my day today like that. and my head started to hurt. Twice I’ve experienced almost blacking out. I don’t know why. I know im not hungry coz I already ate. Maybe it’s the heat but ive been drinking water every 15 minutes and was just in the apartment the whole day. Electric fan blowing infront of me. I don’t know…

Arthur is on his way back here in Cebu, too. Which means, no text messages until he arrives tomorrow morning. Over 24 hours of not hearing from him is taking all of my energy. Im happy though. Coz after 3 months of being away from each other, finally I can wrap my arms around him again. i can finally spend hours everyday with him again. it’s so amazing!

Im bored that’s all. I was thinking of writing sensible right now but this is all I can come up with. A lot has happened the past weeks. Especially in school. After years I’ve heard a teacher tell me again that I have what it takes to be a leader and would definitely recommend me to run for the COEDSO next year. I’ve seen myself make lesson plans as if im just eating. It’s so natural that sometimes I think Mama was in me, doing it. Pathetic as it may sound but that’s just how I feel. I’ve organized a lecture-seminar about music’s role in Special Education. I’ve finally got comfortable reporting infront of a class under Ma’am Pizarro’s eyes. I’m able to answer her questions confidently. Im able to come up with answers on the spot which doesn’t make sense but later makes sense after I explain it further. For the second time, in a debate, I was able to deliver well my stand and even got a pat on the back from Ma’am Pizarro. She’s a big deal you know. She’s one of the teachers in our school who holds master degrees in linguistics, English, philosophy and music, I think. Ok, I sound like a nerd again.

I guess im just really really excited to be with Arthur that my mind is all over the place again. I wasn’t the best girlfriend for him the past weeks and I just want to make it up to him. make his doubts disappear coz he’s got a lot of it lately. And it saddens me because I love him and im having a hard time making him feel that. distance sucks! And there’s nothing we can do but wait. I hope he won’t get impatient. Coz I really need him to be strong in this.

From school to Arthur and back to school then Arthur again. I just can’t think straight right now. This is who I am now. Out of control when he’s not around. im scared but I have him so It’s gonna be ok. I’ll see him very soon….